Wow, wasn't sure I could do that

We're going to skip the diet update for now, because it's not going so well.  Not horrible, just not well.

But in much more baby-making related news: I ovulated this month!  All by myself!  No drugs, no anything.  And by ovulate, I mean I got a smiley face on the opk.  No ultrasound confirmation obviously, since we aren't actively trying.  This may not be exciting to most people, but it is a very rare occurrence around these parts.   In all of the months that I've pee'd on a stick, I've never gotten a positive opk without drug intervention.

It's so exciting to me that I almost called the fertility doc and told them.  But - then I remembered that I'm not talking to them right now.

One week down

One week down, eight thousand more to go.

I've survived the first week of the diet - hooray.  After one week, I've lost 7lbs.  Pretty awesome : )  I know it will slow down a lot after the first week, but it only leaves me 5 more pounds that I have to lose, but 15 more is kind of my minimal goal.  Hopefully we'll be trying again in September.  We have mixed feelings about delaying until October or not.  In September we'll celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary, and I'm not certain I want to be all crazy with the peeing on sticks/ shoving things up my hoo-haa.  But- not trying might also make me crazy.  Wait and see I guess.

In foot news:
On Monday, I'm getting an MRI on of my foot and ankle. It seems to be getting worse - not better. I'm a little nervous.  I never knew I was claustrophobic until I was in the middle of getting an MRI on my shoulder.  Not the best timing for that realization.  Hopefully they wont need to put my entire body inside the machine this time.  Really wishing that I had remembered that when I was scheduling this thing.  All I needed to do was pick a different location and I could've had an open mri.  Oh well, instant gratification won out over potential anxiety attack.

But I don't wanna

I don't wanna go on a diet. Diets suck : (

But I really, really, really want to be a mom.


Yeah, I'm still a bit whiny -- and a bit emotional, but it's getting better.  K is doing the diet thing with me, we're both extra cranky right now.  We've survived the first two days and managed to go grocery shopping - so it looks like we won't starve to death after all.  For everyone playing along at home - we're doing the South Beach Diet.  2 carb lovers + no carbs for a month = grumpiness.

Me and my broke foot headed back to work on Friday.  The timing couldn't have been better.  Working definitely helps me to eat healthier.  I'm editing part descriptions in our storeroom database.  It's very exciting work...yeah.   Nothing like going from a team oriented, highly mobile, labor intensive job - to sitting at a desk all day.  But, they're paying me and I'm not stuck at home - all around better for my mental health.

Speaking of mental health - I should probably make another appointment with my new therapist.  That would be the grown up thing to do.  We'll see how long that takes.

Sorry for the scatterbrained post - but it's all I'm up for right now.   Hopefully the mood in our house will improve with time.  Right now our emotions are still pretty raw.

Moving forward

So, since we've had 3 unsuccessful IUI's and I'm overweight, the clinic has kicked us to the curb.  No not permanently, but it kinda feels like it.

Here's the list of what we have to do before we're" allowed" to come back:
Lose weight

Long list, eh?

Here's what they said should help us:
South Beach Diet
Nutritional Counselor
Overeaters Anonymous

Seriously?  Thanks, fertility clinic, for me helping me to feel a little bit sh*ttier today.  And by "weight," they mean at least 18 pounds, but they'd prefer 60.  60?  Dear god.  Even when I ate super healthy and worked out 2+ times a day I didn't weigh 60lbs less than I do now.  I was probably 14 years old last time a weighed that little.

I know other people have struggled with infertility too, but right now it feels like we're the only ones in the world going through this. Sigh



And just because we're having such craptastic day, the IRS decided to join in the fun and garnish K's paychecks.  Yeah.  Thanks to K's ex husband (eww - I know.  She was married to a man, yuck.)  Somehow losing money on a joint investment in '07 has turned our world upside down.  Hello!  How do we owe taxes for a LOSS filed by HIM?  Ugh.  Very frustrating, and definitely not the best day to receive the news.  Luckily we took out a loan to help cover the fertility stuff, so we have to the cash laying around to pay very one.  We'll just have significantly less $$ around for fertility treatments : (  Oh well.  It'd be hard to be excited about  being pregnant if we were homeless : /



Hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day.

The news is in...

The news is in, and it's not good.

IUI#3 = BFN

How can you have a bajillion eggs and still not get pregnant?  This sucks.  A lot.

The clinic called at 8:30 this morning.  Really?  You couldn't wait until this afternoon?  Thanks fertility lady, for ruining my entire day.  ENTIRE DAY.  I wasn't even fully awake when you called.  I could've had breakfast before crying, but no.  Thanks a lot.

K was very sweet and rearranged her schedule so that she could work from home today - even before we had any inkling of how things would turn out.  It's been nice to get hugs and reassurance the world is in fact, not coming to an end.  And she made me tea.  I have the best wifey ever.

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July...or 3rd of July, which is when we celebrated the annual blow things up day.

Today we practiced being couch potatoes and then went to see Transformers #45, or whatever number they're on.  By the way, a side effect of watching said movie: as we were leaving the megaplex - both K and I were staring at all of the other cars, fully expecting them to jump up and start running and doing flips.  Yeah.  I blame the Imax 3D.     

In baby news - dun dudda dahhhh....there's nothing.   

13dpo and still a BFN.

Going for the beta in the morning, but really hoping to see a BFP on a pee stick.   

We should get the beta results Wednesday afternoon.

Come on BFP!  Pretty please. 

Blogging Issues

Grrr!

I decided to start tagging some of my blog posts.  Blogger decided to republish them as today's date.

Very Frustrating.

Please ignore any randomly appearing old posts.   Hopefully I get this figured out.

Symptoms

My symptoms:
Real or imagined?  Clomid, IUI, or pregnancy related? Eh, hard to tell.

1.  Frequent potty trips.

I've been peeing like crazy.   No, its not a UTI.  It just feels like something is pressing on my bladder.   I originally attributed this to the ginormous state of my ovaries due to the Clomid overstim.  Now, not so sure.  Annoying?  Definitely.  5 seconds after I pee my bladder feels full again.  Logically, I know that it's not. But all that potty training that happened  years ago is really hard to override.

2. Cramps, cramps, cramps

IUIs make me cramp. PMS/AF makes me cramp. But dang.  I've been crampy since the 1st IUI.  I'm ok with being crampy for weeks on end if that's what is need to grow a baby.  I'm not so ok with it if my body is just being mean to me.

3.  Nausea

I've been experiencing day long low level nausea.  Probably just from anxiety, but a girl can dream.


Yeah, I know.  I'm starting to crack.

I'm ok with that though.

9dpo.  Fingers still crossed.

Dangit

I really thought I'd be going back to work this week.   Now it doesn't look so hopeful.   The paperwork I picked up from the doctor today says "No walking, standing, or climbing" until the end of July.   END OF JULY????   I'm already going insane and it's still June.   How's a girl supposed to survive a tww w/ no distractions?  I need distractions people!

Stupid broken foot...

Sigh.  Laying around is much better for some would-be-babies than my normal working environment, so there is a least a bright side.

Longest wait ever

This has been the longest tww ever.  Well, not even 2 weeks.  Not even a week.  Only 5 days in to the the tww and I'm about to go insane.

I've only worked 5 whole days in a ll of June.  5.  Sounds like a dream, right?  Eh, not so much.  The first week off was great because we went on vacation.   The rest of the time off has been due to a stress fracture in my foot.   Not so great.  Summer TV + can't walk much = time moving very slowly.

Lots of cramping from the Clom.id /IUIs isn't helping either.   Boo.


Oh well, 10 more days to go until we find out our answer.
Sure hoping its a BFP : )

There gone, they're all gone

A look of pure astonishment is not what I expect out of the baby making doctor.  She's been doing this for more than 10 years and been a gyn for longer.  What could she possibly be seeing with the dildo cam?  She was seriously flustered this morning.

Apparently, she didn't expect to see that all 4 of the mature follicles had ruptured overnight.  Was she expecting only 2 of them to go?  I have no idea.   What I do know is that yesterday she would have sworn on her life that only 4 of the follicles where mature.  Ummm...oops?  

Yeah.  There aren't 4 little eggs floating in what is hopefully a sea of spermies.  THERE ARE 5!!!

Upping our odds of getting pregnant is awesome.   Upping our odds of needing to consider selective reduction, not so awesome. 

The doc even took a moment to tell us that we'd really need to have a "discussion" if it's more than 2.   She seemed very concerned about triplets.  

The two week wait begins.  Testing on 7/5.

A tinsy bit crazy

Just because I have a bazillion follicles on my left ovary and a uterus full of spermies - does not mean I should go crazy.  "Crazy" in the pick out baby bedding kind of way.  Nope.  Totally shouldn't do that.

...But I just can't help it!  Baby stuff is sooo cute.  Between the furniture and the bedding and those super cute little bitty shoes-  I mean come on.  Who doesn't think about that stuff constantly?  And don't you dare say normal, sane people.  Besides which, I wouldn't believe you anyway.  Everyone in my universe is obsessed with babies and baby stuff.  Yep.  I swear. Alright, so maybe "everybody" is just me and my one other friend who's also playing along in a similar science experiment.

Whew.  Deep breath.

My wife is on the way home from work and I promised her I wouldn't be crazy when she got home.  Well, not any more crazy than when she left this morning : )

One insem down, one more to go.
By this time tomorrow I'll be chock full of spermies and eggs.

Fingers crossed for a BFP
                             
                                     ...and for not quads.   Can I wish for both at the same time?

Clomi*d, where have you been all my life?

Sooo excited.

We're on try number 4, IUI #3, and our first round with clomid.

When I went in for the trigger shot on Friday, all our hopes seemed to be dashed.  It looked like only 1 egg would make it to maturity -and we'd have to come back on Monday for the trigger shot, because that 1 egg wasn't quite ready..  While we've been lucky to get an egg each cycle, we've only gotten AN egg.  We wanted so much to get at least 2 eggs after switching to clom*d.  Our spirits were a little low all weekend.

Three days made all the difference.  This morning's ultrasound/trigger shot was an entirely different experience.

Laying on the table, I started to get nervous because the doctor was being very quiet. The only sound in the room was the clicking on the ultrasound machine, measurement after measurement being recorded.  It felt like forever.  I finally got up the courage to ask what she was seeing.  She was seeing eggs.  Eggs, eggs, and more eggs!   So many that she did the measurements twice.  We were teetering on the edge of having to cancel the cycle - so she wanted to be extra sure that she made the right call.  I think total, there were about 10 eggs on the left ovary.  No worries though.  Only 4 are mature.  The others are lagging behind a good bit.  Absolutely nothing on the right ovary, which is par for the course...and a little worrisome.

We have 4 eggs!

First insem is tomorrow morning and then another the following day.

Whew.  This is the polar opposite of how I was expecting to feel today.

Fingers crossed for some super swimmers!

Where we are now

So... it's been a while.  

Yeah.

Here's what we've been up to:

The try in April was a BFN.

We took May off, thank god.  A month with no ttc stuff  less ttc stuff was awesome.  The week long vacation we took definitely helped too.


Yeah, so that little bit off ttc stuff that we did included one very bad experience.  A bad experience involving 4 people staring at my girly parts, an ultrasound machine, a million gallons of saline and an uncooperative uterus and fallopian tubes.  I forget what the test was called - but its the one where they pump you full of saline and air and check the uterus for polyps and make sure your tubes are open.   The experience was awful.  And painful.  Yep, painfully awful.  


In other news - gained a bunch of weight.  Got yelled at by the baby making doctor so now we're back on the South Beach Diet.  I'm having a hard time with my latest breakup with carbs.  I really do love carbs.  But I feel like crap and need to loose weight to help make baby.  

I also took a gigantic step today.  I found a therapist and went for my first session this morning.  I was even a big girl about it and made the next 2 appointments.   This is my first time in therapy since 2004.  But its something I need to do, for myself and my family.

The end is in sight

We're almost done with this cycle's TWW.  It's been relatively painless - physically and emotionally - compared to the last one.  The hardest part comes tomorrow.  We're not going to order a rushed result.  I'll go for the test tomorrow morning - but then watch the seconds tick by until Thursday afternoon.  Hopefully we'll get the phone call by then or my head and heart might explode : )  

No positives on any of the million and and a half HPTs we've done.  But I'm not freaking out yet, because last cycle we didn't have a positive until the evening after I took the blood test.

Fingers are crossed.  Hopes are high.   Please, please let this be the one!

Go spermies, go!

My uterus is locked and loaded : )  Well, mostly loaded.   Did you know it was possible for your uterus and/or cervix to hiccup and push the "sample" back out?  Yeah...me neither.  WTF?  Now listen here little uterus, we paid good money for that stuff.   No more rejecting.  None.   That's not allowed.   More importantly, I can not stand those ewwy instea.d cups.  Seriously.  How in the world do people use those?  Especially for their intended purpose.  Nope.  Not for me.   Probably not for any of my short stubby fingered brethren either.   

The doc sucked up all of the lovely "reject" and placed it in the inste.ad cup.  She wasn't sure if it was the sample  or other bodily fluids, but she wanted to save it just in case.   

*Over share warning*  This cycle we did a 10,000unit trigger shot.  Profas.i has mad my cervical mucus go crazy.   Not a little crazy.  Super crazy.  Like as in the doc- the one that stares at hoohaas all day long- commented on it at yesterday's insemination.  Maybe I should actually read the labels on all these drugs that I'm taking.  (Not that I don't read the labels, but obviously I haven't been retainiing the information.)

Fingers and toes are crossed.  

Game on!

  Our visit to the doc went well today.   Not quite as well as we were hoping, but we did have one good sized follicle.  It seems that our biggest follicle has a tendency to beat up on the smaller follicles.  We did the trigger shot this morning and got the lovely smiley face on the OPK this evening.

Insem 1 will be tomorrow morning.  Not sure if it will be a double insem, or if we'll go with the regular plan and do another IUI Thursday morning.  Guess we'll find out in the morning.


In other news - that's not related what so ever - twice in the past 2 weeks I've got to hang out with a 15ish month old kiddo and an infant at the exact same time.   The first family I visited accidently got pregnant TWICE within 13 months.  They're great parents, but really.  Twice?  They did make some absolutely adorable Irish twins.  They're looking into the permanent birth control options because apparently they're
very fertile.  I hope I caught some of their fertility cooties while I was visiting : )

The second duo I visited was my niece and a very cute baby that her mom happened to be babysitting.  Going out to lunch was an interesting experience.  One that I hope to repeat often when we have a kidlet of our very own.

Ouch

Double ouch!


Shots that hurt should come with warnings.  On second thought, maybe not.  This cycle we're trying to up the follicle count with a single dose of Meno.pur.  Silly me not realizing that a single dose could mean two shots.  Two very painful shots.  Holy cow!  Perhaps not knowing how much it would hurt made the first one a bit easier.
I definitely have a new found respect for all those ladies going through IVF.  Having to self inject that stuff for days on end would be miserable.


The doc did see 3 budding follicles though.  Here's to hoping that the Fe.mera + a shot of Men.opur = BFP.

Well hello there, long time no see...

Yep, AF is visiting.  It's been a while too - 39 days.   Gee, thanks progesterone.  Cause my cycles weren't long enough without you.

It's nice to be moving forward again.  The chemical pregnancy was hard.  Things to do and people to see bring some happier thoughts around.  Heading to the doc on Tuesday to get the oh-so-pleasant vag ultrasound while bleeding.  Ugh.  Necessary but uncomfortable.

This cycle will be Fem.era  CD3-7 and a shot of Men.opur on CD8.  Hopefully we'll get 2-3 plump follicles out of this protocol.

And then there were none

Beta = 7
Its officially done. Chemical pregnancy : (

Stopped the progesterone after getting the results this afternoon. AF should be here in the next couple of days.

We're both pretty upset right now. Even though the news was expected, it still hurts. It hurts a lot more than I thought it could. 8 cells. I want to crawl and bed and hide from the world because of that little bundle of cells. Crazy.

We're hoping to use some slightly more aggressive drugs for the next cycle. Not sure if the doc will still be on board with it, but I really hope she is. We only got 1 follicle from the fe.mera. Really don't want to be on this rollercoaster any longer than necessary. More drugs = Higher chance of success.

Beta results? Yes please.

After a very anxious 24hr wait, the fertility lady called us with the beta results.

You know, the number that tells you you're pregnant or not.

10. Yep. Just 10.

10 is way more than 0. Almost infinitely more than 0. However, it's significantly less than 50, which is apparently where we should be at 14 dpo. Crap.

Are we pregnant? We don't know. Going for another beta in the morning. This one we ordered rushed. Another 24hr wait was just too much to handle.

Here's hoping that we get 30+ for tomorrow's test.

10dpo...and waiting

We've made it more than half way through our first IUI tww.  Each day has crept by very slowly.  I was sure that the days I was working would fly by, but no.  No they didn't.  Even though I worked my butt off making sure the world had lots of delicious kids cereal, the days still passed slowly.   Not fair.

I appreciate the heads up I got from reading other blogs.  You know, the ones that say how awful progesterone suppositories are.   Even though I knew about the side effects, I didn't really think they'd happen to me.  I mean come on.  I'm me.  I'm special.  Yeah....  My boobs have never been so sore.  An boy howdy do I feel sexy with that constant "leakage" of progesterone.  This stuff is doing wonders for my sex life. Ha.

Luckily the weather is beautiful this weekend, so I can distract myself in the garden.  Or so my plans go.  Still haven't made a trip to the garden center to pick up the soil additives that we need.  I did mow the front yard though : )  The garden center will have to wait until Sunday, because tomorrow we're heading out to my brother's house for a dual birthday celebration.  My birthday was 3 weeks ago, and my sister-in-laws's is next week.  They have the most adorable 15 month old daughter.  I love her to pieces.  People always talk about loving their children more than than they thought was humanly possible.  I feel that way about my niece.  And she's just so darn cute.  I hope we make a cute baby.

Beta will be either the 22nd or 23rd.  If AF doesn't show up.  I'm feeling quite pms-y.  Of course, that could just be progesterone.

I must apologize

Ovaries, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for misjudging you and underestimating your willingness to participate in this process.


I've been very discouraged the last few days.  Had a talk with K last night about how this cycle was a bust.  She encouraged me not to give up quite yet (even though today would be CD21).  Since she asked me too, I felt obliged to pee on a stick one more time.  So at 4am I found my self staring blankly at a smiling little OPK : )   I was so excited I took a picture and texted her, even though she was sound asleep in the next room.   As much as she helps me get through the tough times, I have to be sure to share the good times too.


Just before I left the house for work - around 4:30, I texted the Fertility Lady.  Low and behold she responded before I was out of the driveway.  Ack!  IUI was set up for 10am.  Calmly called work and took a vacation day.  Then I jumped out of the car and almost skipped across the front walk.  Trying to go back to sleep before the IUI was next to impossible.

We did the first IUI this morning.  Had one good looking follicle on left ovary.  Will go back tomorrow for second IUI and possibly a Prof.asi injection if the follicle hasn't released on its own.

Happy happy day.  

And now for the two week wait : )

Dear ovaries, why must you hate me?

Went to the doc today to have my follicles checked before getting the trigger shot.  No go on the trigger shot- Again!  Apparently my ovaries don't feel like playing nicely.  3 days ago left ovary had 1 at 14 and 1 at 9, the right ovary had 1 at 14 and one at ~8.  Should have had 2 nice and plump follicles when I went in today, but no. No I didn't.  The smaller follicles on each ovary got a tiny bit bigger.  The big one on the right grew by 1 (are these in mm?  I can't remember).  The big one on the left decide to just hang out and not grow.  What a slacker.

No trigger shot today = no iui tomorrow = lots and lots of tears.  I'm not even on clom.id, I'm on letr-zole.  No chemical induced excuses for the extra tears.  Its just me.  I am now a blubbering mess a couple of times a week.  I feel very sorry for my poor wife.

The game plan for the rest of this cycle is to keep going with the OPKs.  If I get a positive, we'll probably insem.  If I go past day 21 with no positive, doc will give me a shot to start AF.

I realized this was probably going to be a long journey, but I expected the heartache to come in the form of BFN's.  Not from my body parts not cooperating.  Argh!


On a brighter note, K took me out to celebrate my birthday yesterday.  We went to a super fancy restaurant that had some very wonderful food.  (Blue crab fritter was one of the most amazing things I've ever eaten.)  It was a lovely evening.  We even talked about things that had nothing to do with babies : )

My in-laws also called yesterday- to wish me happy birthday.  Huh, still feels strange to say in-laws and not be fibbing.  It was a very sweet, yet slightly awkward conversation.   K found it odd that her parents called, yet mine did not.  Oh well.

Getting older

Today is my 29th birthday.  K is taking me out to diner somewhere (it's a surprise.)  This will be a welcome reprieve from constantly thinking about the impending insem - which will be Friday/Saturday.   TTC has taken over my entire life  - at least the mental aspects.  I still go through the motions of everyday life, but cute little babies are all I can think of.   If I'm crazy this early on, I feel terrible for K.  She is so wonderful for dealing with all of my insanity : )

So much for planning

After peeing on a stick all weekend at work, I was super excited to go to the Dr yesterday.  It was supposed to be a visit filled with - "wow, check out those follicles" - and - "here's your trigger shot, see you tomorrow".    Well, that's not at all how it went.  Lining was good, but follicles immature--  so no IUI today or tomorrow.  I'm going back Friday.  Hopefully the follicles will be super huge and ready to go. Trigger on Friday followed by a  double insem on Saturday- because the doctor will be out of town Sunday.

Trying my best not to be bummed out.  There were 2 good looking follicles.  But now I have to take time off work for the insem, since I was scheduled to work Sat- Tues this week.  Called in to get vacation, but it was a no go.  We have some crazy strict rules around how many people can be off at once.  I'm out of luck there, so I guess I'll have to just lay out of work (which is a pretty big deal at my work.)   Ho hum.

Never thought I'd do That at work.

That = peeing on a stick


I work in a factory.  A factory full of men.  Mostly redneck men.

Here's how most of them would like to see the factory run:

Rule #1:  No women
Rule #2: No gays


I was assigned a mentor when I was hired.. He felt the need to be very upfront with me.  He said he "didn't like working with women, and didn't like working with fat people."  A few days later he came back and asked me if I was gay.  After telling him that I was, he said "you'd be better off keeping that to yourself, if you want to keep working here."   Yeah.   That was 5+ years ago.

After he got to know me (and decided I was worth keeping,) he explain his comments.  Fat people and women usually ask for help a lot more- making him have to do more work.  The comment on gays was strictly looking out for me - lots of people there would have taken an issue with me if I had been "super gay".


While this conversation still seems surreal to me (who really says that stuff to someone?) - it did have a tremendous impact on how I function at work.  I worked hard to learn all of my systems and equipment and be excelleent at my job








This is not the place to discuss anything that has to do with being a woman.  Hormones are strictly forbidden at work.  Or something.    The two people that I work with the most know about our desire to have children. One of those people is the other woman on my shift.  (Note: not one of the other women, but the other woman -- that's right, there are only 2 of us.)  She's not someone I would have befriended in regular life, but we've become pretty good work friends.




And you most definitely don't talk about being gay.  Even though most of the guys at work have been married multiple times, cheated on their wives, etc -- being gay is wrong because the bible says so.  And thy're all good Christians, no matter what they do to contradict that.

One step closer

Last week we went to see the gyn associated with the Baby Makers.  She’ll be doing our IUI’s. When/ if she determines we’re ready. 

See, I’m overweight and I have PCOS.  Not a little overweight.  A lot overweight.  Not a lot a lot, but pretty big.  And I had put on 20lbs more than was normal for me.  I’m usually around a 20W, and have always been plus sized. The Fertility Guru at the Baby Makers gave us all the stats and really suggested that I lose a good bit a weight.  Heartbreaking at the time, but I knew it was best. Better chances of getting and staying pregnant.   We went on a diet to lose the weight ASAP (K dieted with me, told you she is awesome.)  I lost 20lbs by the appointment time.  But – was it enough  for them to let us try this cycle.

I had started my period the day before the appointment.  It was now or never—okay maybe not never- just not this cycle.  However – the Doc said we could try this cycle (after I pinky swore to lose 6 more lbs by the time we insem.)

So excited!!!!  I rushed out to get the Femera after the appointment. Then headed home to take a nap (I was working nights last week and appt was on the first day of my rotation)   K headed back to work.  Very pleasant dreams.

We’re currently scheduled to get the shot to induce ovulation on 3/1, with insem#1 on 3/2 and insem#2 on 3/3 (my birthday).

The beginnings of our journey

Beforewarned.  This  a long post.  Catching up on 2+ years is hard to do without a bunch of words.

Not too long after we packed the U-Haul began dating, we started talking about having kids. That was way back in 2008.  I always knew that I wanted children, but K was a bit uncertain.  K was previously married to a man (gasp!) and has gone through some very rough times involving fertility/miscarriages.    Her hesitation was very understandable, and made us both think very long and hard about our preparedness for this adventure.  Eventually we decided that this was something we definitely wanted.

Due to health issues and a nine year age difference, we decided that I would be the one to carry our child/children.  I’m not sure if I had fully allowed myself to consider this as an option.  Prior to meeting K, I had prepared to concede that experience to my future partner.   I’m not super butch – but do tend to fall for women who are slightly more into dresses than me.  As time passed, I found that myself getting very excited about becoming pregnant.  Somewhere around June 2010, I became all-consumed by the baby bug. 

Here’s a bit of a timeline of how things have progressed over the last couple of years:

November 2008 – I give K a ring (still debate on wether or not  I actually popped the question), started tracking cycles

December 2008 – K unexpectedly gets laid-off : (  = no kiddos anytime soon

Spring 2009 – tried to chart temps.  (FYI, if you work rotating shifts – this is pointless)

Later in Spring 2009 – gave up charting temps

Spring 2010 – K finds a job!! : )  Not her dream job, but pays well and is full time.

May 2010 – We start planning our wedding.  And our future children

June 2010 – Find an ob/gyn.  Made first appointment

July 2010 – Meet ob/gyn.  He is awesome.  Had lots of tests.  Apparently I have PCOS : (  And I’m fat – but that part I already knew, duh.

August 2010 – Freak about our wedding that’s one month away.  Try an ICI at home. No dice

September 2010- Get married!!!

October 2010- Recover from wedding.  Discovered through a friend that, in our lovely state, it’s illegal to do insemination without a doctor.  : (

November 2010- took some ovulation drugs (Femera) and peed on a bunch of sticks.  No insem, just checking that the femera still works.

December 2010 – Started working with the local feminist health center - AKA Baby Makers.  (Awesome)  They say I’m too fat to have decent odds of getting pregnant (Not awesome)

January 2011 - Diet time.  South Beach Diet here we come.

February 2011 – Good bye 20lbs, hello fertility treatments : )

Getting started

Hello world.  This is my first attempt at a blog.  Ever.  Here goes nothing.

My wife (K) and I have been together for 3 years.  We temporarily escaped the archaic deep south and were married in a very simple and beautiful ceremony six months ago.  She is the love of my life.  I am so proud to be legally wed to her (even if our state chooses to ignore that fact.)