The news is in...

The news is in, and it's not good.

IUI#3 = BFN

How can you have a bajillion eggs and still not get pregnant?  This sucks.  A lot.

The clinic called at 8:30 this morning.  Really?  You couldn't wait until this afternoon?  Thanks fertility lady, for ruining my entire day.  ENTIRE DAY.  I wasn't even fully awake when you called.  I could've had breakfast before crying, but no.  Thanks a lot.

K was very sweet and rearranged her schedule so that she could work from home today - even before we had any inkling of how things would turn out.  It's been nice to get hugs and reassurance the world is in fact, not coming to an end.  And she made me tea.  I have the best wifey ever.

There gone, they're all gone

A look of pure astonishment is not what I expect out of the baby making doctor.  She's been doing this for more than 10 years and been a gyn for longer.  What could she possibly be seeing with the dildo cam?  She was seriously flustered this morning.

Apparently, she didn't expect to see that all 4 of the mature follicles had ruptured overnight.  Was she expecting only 2 of them to go?  I have no idea.   What I do know is that yesterday she would have sworn on her life that only 4 of the follicles where mature.  Ummm...oops?  

Yeah.  There aren't 4 little eggs floating in what is hopefully a sea of spermies.  THERE ARE 5!!!

Upping our odds of getting pregnant is awesome.   Upping our odds of needing to consider selective reduction, not so awesome. 

The doc even took a moment to tell us that we'd really need to have a "discussion" if it's more than 2.   She seemed very concerned about triplets.  

The two week wait begins.  Testing on 7/5.

Clomi*d, where have you been all my life?

Sooo excited.

We're on try number 4, IUI #3, and our first round with clomid.

When I went in for the trigger shot on Friday, all our hopes seemed to be dashed.  It looked like only 1 egg would make it to maturity -and we'd have to come back on Monday for the trigger shot, because that 1 egg wasn't quite ready..  While we've been lucky to get an egg each cycle, we've only gotten AN egg.  We wanted so much to get at least 2 eggs after switching to clom*d.  Our spirits were a little low all weekend.

Three days made all the difference.  This morning's ultrasound/trigger shot was an entirely different experience.

Laying on the table, I started to get nervous because the doctor was being very quiet. The only sound in the room was the clicking on the ultrasound machine, measurement after measurement being recorded.  It felt like forever.  I finally got up the courage to ask what she was seeing.  She was seeing eggs.  Eggs, eggs, and more eggs!   So many that she did the measurements twice.  We were teetering on the edge of having to cancel the cycle - so she wanted to be extra sure that she made the right call.  I think total, there were about 10 eggs on the left ovary.  No worries though.  Only 4 are mature.  The others are lagging behind a good bit.  Absolutely nothing on the right ovary, which is par for the course...and a little worrisome.

We have 4 eggs!

First insem is tomorrow morning and then another the following day.

Whew.  This is the polar opposite of how I was expecting to feel today.

Fingers crossed for some super swimmers!

One step closer

Last week we went to see the gyn associated with the Baby Makers.  She’ll be doing our IUI’s. When/ if she determines we’re ready. 

See, I’m overweight and I have PCOS.  Not a little overweight.  A lot overweight.  Not a lot a lot, but pretty big.  And I had put on 20lbs more than was normal for me.  I’m usually around a 20W, and have always been plus sized. The Fertility Guru at the Baby Makers gave us all the stats and really suggested that I lose a good bit a weight.  Heartbreaking at the time, but I knew it was best. Better chances of getting and staying pregnant.   We went on a diet to lose the weight ASAP (K dieted with me, told you she is awesome.)  I lost 20lbs by the appointment time.  But – was it enough  for them to let us try this cycle.

I had started my period the day before the appointment.  It was now or never—okay maybe not never- just not this cycle.  However – the Doc said we could try this cycle (after I pinky swore to lose 6 more lbs by the time we insem.)

So excited!!!!  I rushed out to get the Femera after the appointment. Then headed home to take a nap (I was working nights last week and appt was on the first day of my rotation)   K headed back to work.  Very pleasant dreams.

We’re currently scheduled to get the shot to induce ovulation on 3/1, with insem#1 on 3/2 and insem#2 on 3/3 (my birthday).

The beginnings of our journey

Beforewarned.  This  a long post.  Catching up on 2+ years is hard to do without a bunch of words.

Not too long after we packed the U-Haul began dating, we started talking about having kids. That was way back in 2008.  I always knew that I wanted children, but K was a bit uncertain.  K was previously married to a man (gasp!) and has gone through some very rough times involving fertility/miscarriages.    Her hesitation was very understandable, and made us both think very long and hard about our preparedness for this adventure.  Eventually we decided that this was something we definitely wanted.

Due to health issues and a nine year age difference, we decided that I would be the one to carry our child/children.  I’m not sure if I had fully allowed myself to consider this as an option.  Prior to meeting K, I had prepared to concede that experience to my future partner.   I’m not super butch – but do tend to fall for women who are slightly more into dresses than me.  As time passed, I found that myself getting very excited about becoming pregnant.  Somewhere around June 2010, I became all-consumed by the baby bug. 

Here’s a bit of a timeline of how things have progressed over the last couple of years:

November 2008 – I give K a ring (still debate on wether or not  I actually popped the question), started tracking cycles

December 2008 – K unexpectedly gets laid-off : (  = no kiddos anytime soon

Spring 2009 – tried to chart temps.  (FYI, if you work rotating shifts – this is pointless)

Later in Spring 2009 – gave up charting temps

Spring 2010 – K finds a job!! : )  Not her dream job, but pays well and is full time.

May 2010 – We start planning our wedding.  And our future children

June 2010 – Find an ob/gyn.  Made first appointment

July 2010 – Meet ob/gyn.  He is awesome.  Had lots of tests.  Apparently I have PCOS : (  And I’m fat – but that part I already knew, duh.

August 2010 – Freak about our wedding that’s one month away.  Try an ICI at home. No dice

September 2010- Get married!!!

October 2010- Recover from wedding.  Discovered through a friend that, in our lovely state, it’s illegal to do insemination without a doctor.  : (

November 2010- took some ovulation drugs (Femera) and peed on a bunch of sticks.  No insem, just checking that the femera still works.

December 2010 – Started working with the local feminist health center - AKA Baby Makers.  (Awesome)  They say I’m too fat to have decent odds of getting pregnant (Not awesome)

January 2011 - Diet time.  South Beach Diet here we come.

February 2011 – Good bye 20lbs, hello fertility treatments : )

Getting started

Hello world.  This is my first attempt at a blog.  Ever.  Here goes nothing.

My wife (K) and I have been together for 3 years.  We temporarily escaped the archaic deep south and were married in a very simple and beautiful ceremony six months ago.  She is the love of my life.  I am so proud to be legally wed to her (even if our state chooses to ignore that fact.)