Wow, wasn't sure I could do that

We're going to skip the diet update for now, because it's not going so well.  Not horrible, just not well.

But in much more baby-making related news: I ovulated this month!  All by myself!  No drugs, no anything.  And by ovulate, I mean I got a smiley face on the opk.  No ultrasound confirmation obviously, since we aren't actively trying.  This may not be exciting to most people, but it is a very rare occurrence around these parts.   In all of the months that I've pee'd on a stick, I've never gotten a positive opk without drug intervention.

It's so exciting to me that I almost called the fertility doc and told them.  But - then I remembered that I'm not talking to them right now.

One week down

One week down, eight thousand more to go.

I've survived the first week of the diet - hooray.  After one week, I've lost 7lbs.  Pretty awesome : )  I know it will slow down a lot after the first week, but it only leaves me 5 more pounds that I have to lose, but 15 more is kind of my minimal goal.  Hopefully we'll be trying again in September.  We have mixed feelings about delaying until October or not.  In September we'll celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary, and I'm not certain I want to be all crazy with the peeing on sticks/ shoving things up my hoo-haa.  But- not trying might also make me crazy.  Wait and see I guess.

In foot news:
On Monday, I'm getting an MRI on of my foot and ankle. It seems to be getting worse - not better. I'm a little nervous.  I never knew I was claustrophobic until I was in the middle of getting an MRI on my shoulder.  Not the best timing for that realization.  Hopefully they wont need to put my entire body inside the machine this time.  Really wishing that I had remembered that when I was scheduling this thing.  All I needed to do was pick a different location and I could've had an open mri.  Oh well, instant gratification won out over potential anxiety attack.

But I don't wanna

I don't wanna go on a diet. Diets suck : (

But I really, really, really want to be a mom.


Yeah, I'm still a bit whiny -- and a bit emotional, but it's getting better.  K is doing the diet thing with me, we're both extra cranky right now.  We've survived the first two days and managed to go grocery shopping - so it looks like we won't starve to death after all.  For everyone playing along at home - we're doing the South Beach Diet.  2 carb lovers + no carbs for a month = grumpiness.

Me and my broke foot headed back to work on Friday.  The timing couldn't have been better.  Working definitely helps me to eat healthier.  I'm editing part descriptions in our storeroom database.  It's very exciting work...yeah.   Nothing like going from a team oriented, highly mobile, labor intensive job - to sitting at a desk all day.  But, they're paying me and I'm not stuck at home - all around better for my mental health.

Speaking of mental health - I should probably make another appointment with my new therapist.  That would be the grown up thing to do.  We'll see how long that takes.

Sorry for the scatterbrained post - but it's all I'm up for right now.   Hopefully the mood in our house will improve with time.  Right now our emotions are still pretty raw.

Moving forward

So, since we've had 3 unsuccessful IUI's and I'm overweight, the clinic has kicked us to the curb.  No not permanently, but it kinda feels like it.

Here's the list of what we have to do before we're" allowed" to come back:
Lose weight

Long list, eh?

Here's what they said should help us:
South Beach Diet
Nutritional Counselor
Overeaters Anonymous

Seriously?  Thanks, fertility clinic, for me helping me to feel a little bit sh*ttier today.  And by "weight," they mean at least 18 pounds, but they'd prefer 60.  60?  Dear god.  Even when I ate super healthy and worked out 2+ times a day I didn't weigh 60lbs less than I do now.  I was probably 14 years old last time a weighed that little.

I know other people have struggled with infertility too, but right now it feels like we're the only ones in the world going through this. Sigh



And just because we're having such craptastic day, the IRS decided to join in the fun and garnish K's paychecks.  Yeah.  Thanks to K's ex husband (eww - I know.  She was married to a man, yuck.)  Somehow losing money on a joint investment in '07 has turned our world upside down.  Hello!  How do we owe taxes for a LOSS filed by HIM?  Ugh.  Very frustrating, and definitely not the best day to receive the news.  Luckily we took out a loan to help cover the fertility stuff, so we have to the cash laying around to pay very one.  We'll just have significantly less $$ around for fertility treatments : (  Oh well.  It'd be hard to be excited about  being pregnant if we were homeless : /



Hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day.

The news is in...

The news is in, and it's not good.

IUI#3 = BFN

How can you have a bajillion eggs and still not get pregnant?  This sucks.  A lot.

The clinic called at 8:30 this morning.  Really?  You couldn't wait until this afternoon?  Thanks fertility lady, for ruining my entire day.  ENTIRE DAY.  I wasn't even fully awake when you called.  I could've had breakfast before crying, but no.  Thanks a lot.

K was very sweet and rearranged her schedule so that she could work from home today - even before we had any inkling of how things would turn out.  It's been nice to get hugs and reassurance the world is in fact, not coming to an end.  And she made me tea.  I have the best wifey ever.

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July...or 3rd of July, which is when we celebrated the annual blow things up day.

Today we practiced being couch potatoes and then went to see Transformers #45, or whatever number they're on.  By the way, a side effect of watching said movie: as we were leaving the megaplex - both K and I were staring at all of the other cars, fully expecting them to jump up and start running and doing flips.  Yeah.  I blame the Imax 3D.     

In baby news - dun dudda dahhhh....there's nothing.   

13dpo and still a BFN.

Going for the beta in the morning, but really hoping to see a BFP on a pee stick.   

We should get the beta results Wednesday afternoon.

Come on BFP!  Pretty please. 

Blogging Issues

Grrr!

I decided to start tagging some of my blog posts.  Blogger decided to republish them as today's date.

Very Frustrating.

Please ignore any randomly appearing old posts.   Hopefully I get this figured out.